1. Who broke Twitter? Was it Scott Baio? Was it? It was, wasn’t it.
2. Some unbelievable douchenozzle broke the hot water spout on our cooler at work, and there is not a microwaveable cup to be found, so now there is NO TEA. NO TEA IN DECEMBER.
3. Nutcracker music is stuck in my head, and I have no way to expunge it. I need Christmas to get itself over with, stat, so I can go on with my life.
4. Gary Busey